Does Home Size Affect Togertherness?

Home buyers in Massachusetts visits a construction site for small homes. I took this photo 35 years ago.

   Small houses, like the ones in the photo, are rarely built anymore. Developers construct bigger homes. Profits are greater. And people—well, some people—can afford these larger dwellings.
    House sizes in the nation have doubled during the last four decades. At the same time, family sizes have shrunk.
    Bigger homes with fewer occupants—this trend strikes me as hurtful to family life. Excessive space in a home encourages family members to sequester themselves.
    For several years, I’ve strolled each evening by some large houses. Blue lights used to flicker in several windows per house. These lights originated from personal computers. People were online in separate rooms.
    Those families weren’t hanging out together.
    Nowadays, blue lights don’t flicker in multiple windows. The flickering usually comes from one room—a family room—with a large screen television.
    This change doesn’t mean family members are gathered together watching television. They’re still sequestering themselves in separate rooms. What’s different is that personal computers have given way to smartphones.
    Not everyone lives in oversized homes. Lots of families still reside in modest homes. 
    I suspect that families in modest dwellings are knit tighter than families in large homes.

Faith in Common

    The only words I understood were ‘Ave-Maria.’ It meant ‘Hail Mary.’ Portuguese-Americans proceeded behind a statue of the Blessed Mother. They recited The Rosary. It happened yesterday at a shrine near my home.
    A Portuguese woman approached my elderly mother. The woman said something in her native tongue. Mom, of Polish heritage, did not understand.
    The Portuguese woman lifted her rosary beads. Attached to them was a figurine of Jesus. The woman kissed it. She presented the figurine to Mom. Right away, Mom leaned down and kissed it. Afterwards, the two women smiled at each other.
    The language barrier didn’t matter. Those woman shared in common their Catholic faith.
    Fellowship is one reason why religious people score high in happiness surveys.

Toiling in a Basement

    Two afternoons per week, I notice a man cleaning the floor at a senior center. He's usually by himself. The room, busy during the morning, is empty. I pass by his door while picking up my elderly mother.
    Last week, I struck up a conversation with this person. Bob (I think that's his name) is a retiree. And he's a volunteer.
    He told me the town lowers his taxes in return for cleaning two rooms. His toil is lonely. The rooms are situated in a basement. Few people walk by. Quietude prevails.
    Cleaning the floor crimps Bob's social life. His friends sometimes play golf on weekdays. He doesn't join them. Volunteering takes precedence. Instead of swinging a golf club he sweeps a broom.
    Bob said of his job, "When I commit to something, I try to stick with it."
    His attitude reminds me of a quote by Carlos Ghosn:
    'Commitment. This is my favorite word because in some way, people who are committed are always much more interesting and much more reliable, and much more, I would say, deep than people who are not.'

Simple Attraction

Farmers' Market last week near my home.

    At a farmer’s market, two women drew in the most customers.
    The women wore head coverings and long dresses. They were conservative Mennonites. Simplicity is a hallmark of their religion.
    Their plain attire contributed to their their popularity. Also helping them was authenticity. Customers sensed that these women weren’t wearing costumes to earn a buck. They wear those outfits every day.
    The popular culture ignores people of humility and simplicity. But they’re respected by everyday people.

Pokemon Hot Spot

Boys and a young man play the game Pokémon Go at a town common in Massachusetts.

    I watched a zombie parade. It happened while sitting on a bench in Massachusetts.
    Passersby stared into smartphones. Unlike people in a real parade, these folks zigged and zagged in all directions. Some remained on walkways. Others cut across grass.
    They were playing Pokémon Go, a virtual game that uses real world locations. It's become a craze. Smartphones are required for playing.
    Yesterday was my first exposure to the phenomenon, even if I merely observed.
    I've often criticized the social ill effects of smartphones. This time I'll defer. The fixation on Pokémon doesn’t seem bad. Most folks played in groups of two or three. For example, the first participants I noticed were a man and girl, possibly siblings. Comparing them to zombies isn't fair.
    Exercising and playing together beats staring into phones, even if ironically this activity includes staring into phones.

Park to Myself

    Most summer evenings, children occupy the playground in my town. But not on July 4th, a national holiday. The setting goes quiet. So does the rest of the town.
    On that weekend, people head to the beach, or the mountains, or wherever. They’re looking for a break from the hustle and bustle. The problem is, it requires hustle and bustle to reach those places. Highways and tourist areas become crowded.
    I remain in town.
    The park becomes a haven. Behind the swing sets is a grove of trees (seen in photo). There, shade and quietude relax me.
    On July 4th weekend, people who stay in town enjoy more relaxation than those seeking it elsewhere.

Screens and Sky

Fireworks explode in a suburb of Boston on the eve of July 4, 2016, a national holiday.

    Facing fireworks is different than watching them.
    Two girls (in the left photo) sat on the roof of a pickup truck. Fireworks exploded in the sky. The girls ignored the extravaganza. Their eyes fixated on smartphones. Maybe they were texting, or visiting social media websites.
    The girls were tuned out to the reality in front of them. In a sense, they were even tuned out to each other.
    Nearby, an elderly couple (in the right photo) watched the fireworks. No smartphones in their hands. They were tuned in, to the fireworks and to each other.
    Watching fireworks is great family fun. Well, most of the time. Staring into screens diminishes the togetherness.
    Smartphones curtail family bonding.